I
am taking Jasmine and Steve to lunch. I need their help with the Steele
situation. Ok, so it is not a situation since it is all in my head but I need
their help nonetheless. I am hoping that they will give me advise about how to
tell Steele how I feel about him. I hope they have some words of wisdom for me.
It
is a sunny autumn day in Chicago. I should be out shopping and enjoying my day.
Instead I am headed to Lincoln Park to meet Jasmine and Steven. I need Jasmine
to focus and not be “funny” today. She loves to tell gross stories about her
client skin disorders. I am in no mood for that. I was so anxious that I got to
the restaurant early. We are meeting in
a fondue place with a Mediterranean feel. Our booth’s wall is lined with
bottles of wine. I wish I drank every single one of them. It is the first time
I am going to say, out loud, that I am in love with Steele.
Jasmine
arrives first. She is wearing a little cashmere camel color sweater. It brings out her hazel eyes. She is five feet
five and but her presence is six five. Five minutes later in walks Steve. He
promptly informs us that he is hung over. I don’t need this today. Jasmine asks
where Steele is. I let her know he is not coming but that he is the reason I
have asked them to join me.
The
three of us are sitting in silence. Finally Jasmine asked what was going on
with Steele. I finally let it out, “I have feelings for him.” Him who? asked
Steve. I respond, Stelle! trying not to sounds annoyed that I had to specify
the name. STELLE? they ask in unison. I
got out a yes that was barely a whisper. What about Stephanie? Asked Steve. Are
you serious right now Steve. I just told you that I love Steele and you bring
up Stephanie? YOU LOVE HIM? in unions once again. I don’t know how to tell him
and I need your help. What do you think?
Jasmine
asked me if I was worried about our friendship. Of course I am. That is why I
have not said anything all this time. Steve, you are his best friend. You have
known him the longest. Has he ever said anything about me? Do you think he
would be receptive? Steve explained that Steele is focused on his career. He has
dated but nothing too serious. His career is his first love. I know he cares
about you but I can say it is more than that said Steve. Well, if you were me,
what would you do? You only live once. If you love him tell him. Jasmine was
firm. What do you think Steve? I do not know how he will take it. But, I am a
big proponent of speaking my truth, perhaps it is time you spoke yours, tell
Steele.
I
have put it out there in the universe and I survived. Jasmine and Steve did not
discourage me from telling him. It is time to speak my truth about Steele to Steele.
I pick up my cell and stare at it for a few minutes. I thought my body was
frozen but my fingers managed to move. My text read, how about dinner tonight
you and I. There is no turning back.
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