Lost Your Way - My 500 Words D5

I have decided that for all the Sundays of the 500 word challenge I will write about the sermon at church. Today’s was about losing your way. The pastor asked us if we had lost our way. Many of us said yes and she admitted she too had at times lost her way.

There are many times that a have lost my way. Some have been well intentioned but somewhere along the way it turns. I remember, early on in our relationship, my husband told me that that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I remember thinking that was pretty cold blooded to tell me that because whatever I was trying to do was the right thing.  

I mean well at times but I don’t always achieve it. I blame it on being a Pisces. Water signs are moody, and can be a little on the flaky side (sometimes). Sometimes getting lost in those good intentions I lost myself. Trying to be good and better for others can be exhausting while other times it is amazingly rewarding.

It can be so hard to come back once you have lost your way. Sometimes you do not know how to get back to center. It is hard because you want things to get better. You want time to fly by and be in a better place. But, seconds tick so slowly when you are facing despair.

How do you back on track? By pushing yourself to take a step! Instead of wishing things change, take a step towards change. The first step is the hardest. It is like pulling your leg out of mud, or quick sand. But once you start pulling yourself out, moving forward, you can get to the next level, the next moment in your life. That is until the next time you lose your way when you will have to do it all over again.

I just read a post that said “worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles; it takes away today’s peace.” This is something I am trying to work on. But again, I am a Pisces. I am a dreamer. I am always thinking about the future. Sometimes it is distracting. Sometimes I obsess about it. I worry. I am a worrier. I worry about life and death and everything in between.

I don’t know what is happening to me now that I am getting older. I have to remind myself to relax. I have to tell myself to stop thinking about things I can’t change or control. I am trying to stay in the moment. I do enjoy myself when I am in the moment. When people are around I am fun, I am happy, I laugh. But, when the quiet moments come, my mind goes to a million places – some better than others, some more realistic than others.

I hope that these efforts in writing help me sort out what I am feeling. What this old age (I about to be 40) is doing to me. I look forward to the rest of this challenge. I want to see what is in the other side.