I
am the youngest of three and the only one who went to college. My mother
graduated law school top of her class and has been defending the innocent (and
not so innocent) for years. As far back as I can recollect she pushed me to be
a lawyer. And as far back as I can remember I never had any interest, not even
a little, for law. Bless her heart, my mother kept trying and she went all out
when I got to college. Imagine her surprise and disappointment when I told her
I wanted to do Public Relations. She has not let it go, even now that I am a
Vice President at one of the largest PR firms in Chicago.
In
spite of being a disappointment to my mother, I love my job. I have enjoyed
great success and I am looking forward to my career growth. Another disappointment
in my mother’s life is the fact that I am very much single and all of 37 years
of age. My beautiful mother’s new past time is sending me information on
fertilization options. She does not care anymore that I am not married she just
wants a grandchild from her only daughter. It is not that I do not want to
reproduce. It is that I have been secretly in love with my friend Steele for
years. I have tried dating but I find fault in every man I met. No one comes
close to Steele’s qualities.
I
have imagined myself telling him how I feel. I play different scenarios in my
mind. Most of the time I imagine that it will ruin our friendship, then I wait
yet another day and I have yet to say anything. I am feeling pressure to make a
move because our “fiend” Stephanie likes Steele as well. She is more
forthcoming about how she feels and she flirts with him every chance she gets. Since
I can’t jumper and pull her hair out leaving her bold, because then I would be
wrong, I have to seriously think about telling Steele how I feel.
My
mother would love Steele since he is a lawyer. But his successful career pales
in comparison to how beautiful he is. He is sexy and we would have beautiful
babies. He is six feet three. His hazelnut brown skin makes me want to take a
bit. I imagine that he tastes just like Nutella, which I have also loved for a
long time. If I close my eyes I can not only imagine him holding me but I can
almost feel his arms and muscles around me. Now, if I can just get the words to
come out of my mouth. If only I could muster the strength. I love you Steele!
Four simple words, four beautiful words, four words that will shape my future
happiness. I can’t say them. But, if I don’t say them, what will that mean. I
will hate myself if he ends up with Stephanie. Let’s be real, I will hate
myself if he ends up with anyone. I have to tell him.
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