Round Two - My 500 Words D26

Making love to Steele for the first time was more that I had imagined. His touch was light at times, strong others. It was like he could read my body, what I wanted, what I needed! Laying here next to him with my eyes closed I can still feel his lips on my neck, I can still feel him inside of me. I feel like a new woman. I want to go to the gym right now and workout. Why are my thoughts so random and crazy right now?

I feel his eyes on me. I do not want to open my eyes yet. We are going to have to talk and I do not know what to say, worse yet, I don’t know what he is going to say. I slowly bring myself to open my eyes. I turn to look at Steele. He smiles at me and says Hi. I smile back and respond, “well, hello!” Steele continues, “so, this is not how I imagined this is how our night would end up. After so many nights we have gone out to dinner, spent time together, why didn’t you tell me how you felt?”

“We are such good friends Steele. I talked myself out of it most days claiming I did not want to ruin our friendship. But no matter how hard I tried, my feelings for you would not go away. If anything, they got stronger.” Steele looked at me, intrigued. “What was it that made you feel this way about me?

“Steele, you have to know how amazing you are, not to mention sexy as hell.” “As hell you say?” Ok, he is making fun of me know, I am ok with that. I can laugh at myself. “You drive me crazy with your workaholic ways, and how you have no problems calling me to the carpet when needed. But, you are also supportive, you have always been there for me, no questions asked. You give of yourself, and help others, your community, what is not to love, like, be attracted to?

“So now what? Where do we go from here?” Steele spoke the million dollar questions. Now what? “Let’s be selfish. Let’s keep this to ourselves. Let’s try going out as more than friends. Let’s test what the future can hold for us.” “Sounds like a plan. How about we start with round two?” I just smile at Steele like a love sick teenager. I must have done something very right in a previous lifetime to be in this space with this man right now.

I put my hand my hand on Steele’s shoulder and pushed him down to the bed. I climbed on top of him. I looked down and said, “if it is round two you want, round two you will get.” I bend down and kiss his incredibly soft lips. I make my way down to his neck. I can still smell his cologne. It takes me back to how his sent filled my lungs at the restaurant. At how badly I wanted him them. After being with him once, I feel like I will never get enough. His sent, his body, his lips, his mind, he turns every part of me on. I loose myself in him away. I welcome him back into my body. Round two is a good as the first. 

From Friends to Lovers - My 500 Words D25

I can't run. I am in my underwear in my friends room whom I am in love with. We just spoke about our feelings five seconds ago. What was I thinking. He barely wanted to kiss me and here I am ready to give myself to him. There is no uncrossing this line. I look up and there he is in all his beautiful glory. He looks down at me. That transitional look is back. It is like his mind is screaming at him to stop but his passion is pushing him towards me.

He is seconds away from me. I do not have any more time to think about what is next. I do not have time to ponder the what ifs. It is time to pass the button to my sex goddess Sheila (just like Ready for the World's Oh Shelia) that resides deep inside me. She has not been out in a while. I have been so busy loving a man in secret that there was no need to have my goddess out. She is doing stretches as Steele comes closer. She is ready to run her leg of the race. I need her to be strong and sexy for me now because I am ready to run out of here, change my number, and forget this night.

Sheila pushes me aside and takes over. I thank her!

Steele opens his mouth to say my name. I know what he is going to say, we should not do this. This is not right. What about our friendship. Sheila said, no more talking and she takes off my bra, slowly letting it drop to the floor. Steele stands in front of me, frozen for a second. His inner God introduces himself to Shelia formally. When he sweep my on to his arms it finally settled in my brain that this is really happening, Steele and I, after all of this time, it is happening!

Steele's kiss set my insides on fire. I honestly could not remember that last time I felt this way. I became light headed. For a moment, I could not decipher it it was real or a dream. Then I felt my body react to his kiss and I realized how very real it was.

Feeling his arms around me I could not think of a place I rather be. I felt so safe, so wanted, so happy. Steele laid me down and the bed and climbed on top of me. He started to kiss me again. His lips trailed softly from my lips, to my neck, to my breast. I felt like I was going to explode, there were some many sensations and emotions running through me.

Steele stopped ravaging me to take off his shirt. Lord, why must this man be so magnificent? I feel like licking every inch of his body and the way things are going, it looks like I will get to do just that. Steel gets off the bed and takes the rest of his clothes off. I can't even gather myself to see the man I love naked and ready to be with me. He glides the tips of his fingers along my legs. When he gets to my waist he wraps his fingers around the top of my panties and pulls them down and off.

He slides over to his drawer and takes out a condom. I love a responsible man! He slips it on and then inside of me. It is as magnificent as I thought it would be. His takes his time, like he has all night. I let my hands run all over his body. I was like a kid in the candy store. Our bodies were in sink so much so that we climaxed together. It was beautiful!

Seal It With A Kiss - My 500 Words D24

I followed Steele back to his place. He lived close by in a downtown high-rise. Staring out of the window of his condo I can see the Sears Tower. Looking at the city lights I forget for a second what just transpired at the restaurant. I found myself wondering what people were doing many floors and many miles away from where I was. Then I felt Steele behind me. He reached around me and handed me a glass of wine. This wine is not going to do it, I need something much stronger, but I take the wine and thank him instead.

We looked at each other for a while then we looked out of the window. Steele finally spoke and asked if I wanted to step out to the balcony. I said: “sure.” Mentally, I was thanking God. I really needed the fresh air. The air was crisp as we stepped outside. I like a nippy fall night. My body tensed up a little as it adjusted to the change in climate. Instinctively Steele put his arm around me, as he had many other nights before this one. When he realized what he did he quickly took his arm away. I longed for it back, tonight more than ever. I had enough of this awkwardness.

“Steele.” I stop after his name. I did not think through what I was going to say and suddenly I am at a lost. Steele takes over from there. “I know how you feel. I have thought about us together, more times than I allowed myself to to acknowledge.” I felt a but coming. “But, we have so much to loss. We have been friends for many years. I don't want to risk that.” I am frustrated. Can't he just snap out of it. If he thought about it then he knows there is chance. Why can't we try this.

I try again. Steele, I have said the same thing to myself. That is why I had not said anything until now. But, I can't ignore my feelings any longer.” With that, I move towards him. I got so close our lips were almost touching. My voice lowers three octaves, “I want you. I want to try. I think we can work.” I lean in and kiss him. Steele automatically put his hands up and reached for my shoulders as if he was going to push me away. But to my surprise, he stopped. After a brief hesitation he moves his hands up to my faces. He holds my face with tenderness which make me met into him. I do not want to moment to end.

Steele pulls away first. He is looking down at me, his eyes confused. They go from passionate to questioning and then back again. I have to stop the mental back and forth. I excuse myself to the restroom. As I walk back into the condo I step out of my shoes. I thank God for having the good sense of having sexy underwear. As I round the corner past this kitchen I start taking of my clothes dropping them on the floor as I make my way to his room. By the time I enter the space where he dares to dream I am to my bra and panties. I sit on his bed and wait. He will come looking for me eventually. This is the second time this night that I have not thought things through. I was bold five minutes ago. Now, I am aware of my bare skin. It feels cold. My stomach erupts into a combination of butterflies and sea sickness. I change my mind. I stand up to get my clothes when I hear the patio door close and Steele calling my name. 

Destiny Awaits - My 500 Words D23

After what seemed like an eternity, but it was probably more like five minutes, Steele finally spoke. Don’t think that I have not wondered the same thing. Those words shook me. I did not know if my heart did a somersault or if I was having a heart attack. I said, I hear a “but” coming. You do, replied Steele. But, I do not know what will come of it. We are great together. We spend quality time together. In a lot of respects we are like a couple already. I have found myself measuring my exes to you, which is probably why it does not usually work. But, I do not want to spend my life without you in it. I don’t know if I can take the risk and then us not working out.

I stopped listening have way through when I realized he had thought about us too. He had contemplated us being together. I wanted to sit on his lap and start kissing him right then and there. I had to compose myself. But, he was even sexier in my eyes, as if that was possible.

Steele, what if we can spend and even better life as a couple? It is like you said; it is almost as if we have already been dating all this time. I know how you like your coffee, I can shop for your clothes, you know what I like for breakfast, and how to make me feel better when I am down. You know things about me that I have not told a soul, the dreams that I have shared with no one other than you. I trust you with my secrets, my dreams, and my heart already. If you and when you are ready to try I will be here. I want to take the next step with you.

Steele suggested we leave the restaurant and go back to his place to talk. But, now that I know he has thought about us being together I am done talking. I want to be with him. I have been imagining what lies beneath for so long I want to see if all of my fantasies are true. I don’t think I should go. I am ready to make bad choices. I am ready to be in the moment and YOLO that shit. I have never said YOLO in my life. Something is seriously wrong with my brain. This man had turned me into a babbling idiot.

Steele got up and came behind me and gently pulled my chair. As I stood up the sweet and tangy smell of his cologne filled my lungs he was standing so close to me. I was trying to tell my lady parts not to react to his sent, to his words, to the slight grace of his hand on the small of my back. It’s too late, they noticed too. They are letting me know it is go time. But, I am pretty sure he is not ready for that leap tonight. Legs, don’t fail me now. I need you to be strong and carry me out of this restaurant. I need to see what destiny awaits. 

What Hooks You? - My 500 Words D22

The message at church this morning was “what hooks you?” The pastor explained that when Jesus was getting disciples early on he went to fisher men. Jesus himself did not fish, as he was a carpenter by trade. For example it was explained that Jesus told Andrew and Peter follow me and you will fish men. It is said that they laid their fishing net down and went with Jesus.

The pastor turned to us and asked what hooks us. People were able to get up and share what is in them right now making them work towards something or accomplishing something. Some people shared church related examples, like growing church membership. Others were more general about things that are going on but with little detail like an issue serving in jury duty and another was facing issues with the city.

I was moved to share. What I have been hooked in for at least a year now is to do free hospice pictures for families. I read in a group that I belong to on Facebook of a woman that was doing child hospices pictures in Texas. I love taking pictures and I thought what a beautiful opportunity to do for families who do not have the luxury of time.

I have been work on my dissertation and I have not worked on many things because I have been focusing on finishing. But, to do these pictures I have to be fully focused. You can’t let a family down in a situation like this. I am also afraid since I am such an emotional person. I am afraid to be crying the entire time. But, I think of the gift that they would receive and I hope I can get it together.

I am planning to see if I can work with a photo shop that will do a free picture for the family. I will also like to do a show in a gallery for any families that give me permission to use their pictures for a show. I would think it would be so moving. I just saw a story about actor John Schneider who used to be in the Dukes of Hazards and is now in the show The Haves and Have Nots. During a photo shoot for the new show the photographer said that John Schneider started to cry. The actor asked him to keep taking pictures. He shared that his father had just passed and he found out during lunch break. He continued to take the promotional pictures but could not hold it any longer. The photographer showed him the pictures and John was able to select the one he like the best. The one that he felt really represented the spirit of his father.

 That is what I would like to provide to these families but prior to the person passing away. Is having that memento of a loved one that can be cherished. Not everyone gets to have that opportunity. I know I did not with my grandmother. I wish I had. I would have meant so much to me. I hope I can give that to someone else. 

Silence - My 500 Words D21

Steele chuckled a bit, ‘your are thinking about us? What about us?’ I ignored my stomach, I ignored my body wanting to run, I ignored the fear that filled my brain. I let my heart speak. Steele, this may seem out of the blue to you but I have been feeling this way for a long time. I care for you, more than a friends’ care. I think about you, I imagine us dating.

I did not breath, I kept talking. I want us to try. Try to be together. I want to see where it can lead. I know it is scary. I have been scared for a long time to share my feelings with you. I kept thinking, what about our friendship? But, I want to try. I think we would be good together. My hands where flapping every which way, I was talking fast trying to sell us being together. I finally realize that I have rambling for a long time and Steele had not said anything. He was just looking at me.

I got scared when he was just sitting there quietly. I imagined what was going through his mind. He was probably thinking about all the reasons why we would not work. Maybe he was thinking that he was not attracted to me and now things will be awkward around me. I think he wanted to leave and ignore that this ever happened, but now he can’t. He can’t go back to ignorance bliss. He knows how I feel. I think he already knew I had feelings for him. But, since I did not say anything he could claim he did not know, or was not sure. But, now, he knows. It is true. I want you. But he is still sitting there not saying a word. I finally say something.

I am sorry Steele. I know I was talking fast and I laid a lot on your lap. I have been thinking about us for a while. I did not take it lightly, this moment. I love our friendship. I appreciate you very much. You have been a wonderful friend and very supportive of me for a long time. I can’t tell you how much that has meant to me, especially in those unsure times of my life. Like the time I finally told my mom I was never going to law school. You helped me practice the conversation. You know what; the conversation went very well because of you. I do not want to lose your friendship. But, I had to think long and hard about living one more day without sharing my feelings. I could not do it anymore.

I will understand if you need time to think about it. I will understand if you do not feel the same about me. I will understand if we can’t be friends because I have made things weird between us. I had to share my truth. I had to tell you my feelings. I hope you understand. I hope you want to try, but I will respect your decision no matter what. Steele is still sitting without saying a word. I don’t know what to do with myself right now.

Confession - My 500 Words D20

After calling Steele I sat in my car for a while. I stated to come up with a list of excuses that would sound like a good reason to cancel. I got a flat. I forgot I had a meeting. I was abducted by aliens who want me to be the queen of their planet. Nothing sounded believable. I finally started my car.

I decided to go to Millennial Park for a while. I needed the fresh air. Once I arrived at the park I found a place to see with the best possible vision of the park. There were so many couples who passed by me hand in hand. They seemed happy. Somewhere more willing to show their affection in public that others but regardless they all seems so comfortable with each other. I wondered if some day Steele and I would be in this very park. Would someone notice us and think to themselves, ‘they look so happy together.’ I prayed that would be the case.

I was in a daze. I did not realize the time until I felt my phone buzzing. Steele was letting me know he was running 15 minutes late. I got up, straighten my skirt and I walked by to the nearby restaurant where we were meeting. I walked off that what I felt was my destiny to join the fraternal order of love.

The Americana modern restaurant has big window and I saw see Steele from the corner of my eye. My stomach tightened while I tried to conjure up a pep talk but before I could organize me thoughts Steele was in front of me. I hugged him but I lingered. I hugged him a little tighter than usual. He glazed at me with a puzzled look and asked if everything was ok. I tried to shake off the nerves and pretend that everything was fine, that it was a normal day. He eyes were still squinted when the waitress came. Thank God for her timing.

Why does Steele have to be so beautiful? I am trying not to stare but he looks delicious. He is wearing a Brooks Brothers suit we picked out together. We had spent a day last fall together. We were doing some retail therapy after Steele’s last break up. Since he has loved his career more than any woman he has ever dated the break up was not particularly hard on him. But, it gave me an excuse to go out with him so I jumped on the opportunity.

Steele thanked me for inviting him out; he recognized it had been a while since the two of had gone out. He looked at me for a few moments without saying a word. I felt like half an hour but I am sure it was less than a minute. He finally broke the silence and said that it felt like something was on my mind. The moment was here. I did not know if to laugh or cry. I finally opened my mouth and the words rushed out. So fast, in fact, that he was not sure if I was speaking in English or Spanish. I smiled, slowly brushed my hair from my face and said, I have been thinking about us.